Wedding Photography

Some people know me quite well. Well enough to know that I can fake kindness and genuine interest very, very well. It's amazing and a lot of people get to bear witness to this craft first-hand every day. The people who know me well enough to understand my expertise, and who've pointed it out to me after noticing it, are my coworkers. At work my proficiency for duplicity reaches an apex, a critical mass. I arrive, clock in, and become a thing of lies. Years of feigning interest in the most mundane (with a smile and positive attitude mind you, this is technically a customer service kind of thing) have culminated, amassing each misleading moment into a spire of deceit, where a throne of fraud may be found nestled upon its summit.

In this super-comfy chair you'll find me. The thing of lies. Wearing a cool mask or something so you don't know who it is, 'cause you know, I'm fucking mysterious and it works as a metaphor. My point: The people who go to my place of business, the patronage, have no idea that I fucking hate them so bad that it could one day destroy all life as we know it. It's quite the opposite for them I imagine. I'm pretty sure that they are so contented by our friendship that the fear of death, for themselves and all of humanity, no longer exists. We are such good pals that the happiness we generate fuels a spectral engine of euphoria capable of, not just voiding all time and space of anything that's ever been or will be a detriment to the universe (parallel or otherwise), but it also makes iced cream.

"So, you honest about anything?" Yeah. I'll never be a wedding photographer. "Liar! You did a wedding!" Yeah, I did it for Josh and Kristin. Josh and Kristin are my friends though and there isn't much I wouldn't do for my friends. It sucked having to transition from what I'm accustomed to and doing some on the fly learning. If it were for anyone else I wouldn't have done it and I certainly would not have all these shots to go through in post (156 done!). I hate wedding photography and I'll never be a wedding photographer but their wedding was a lot of fun and I had a great night. Besides, I had great time pretending to be something I'm not. Just like my other job.

I think this is my favorite one:

Josh & Kristin